The Worst of Fellows

“Every cop is a criminal/And all the sinners saints”

-Mick Jagger

If it weren’t for people to poke fun at us with earnest, albeit sometimes ulterior intentions, as great satirists do, how could we learn of our faults? The great comedians have achieved greatness by pointing out the ironies of our everyday life. Consider Jerry Seinfeld, who bases his brand of comedy on observing the hypocrisies of day-to-day American life. Even popular pundits such as Stephen Colbert employ satire and irony to deliver pointed jabs to those who subscribe to such ironies. Salman Rushdie is among the many great satirists of literature. In his short story “The Prophet’s Hair”, Rushdie uses his characters to embody the double-speak and true blasphemy that religion can sometimes ravel us in.

The main character of the story, Hashim, is a devious, cutthroat business man. His debtors cry usury, his family must endure his cruelty, and ultimately his greed is his undoing. He happens upon the Prophet Muhammad’s hair. He immediately assesses it not for its spiritual worth, but for its monetary worth. He becomes obsessed by the hair, and goes through great lengths to ensure its safe-keeping. He becomes ultra-orthodox in his faith; his family must follow his orders to pray unseemly amounts of time every day.

The hair convokes Hashim’s greed and hypocrisy. He simultaneously spouts the tenets of Islam while inflicting unusual pain (in a direct antithesis of the Qu’ran) on those who question his obsession with the hair. Rushdie masterfully employs his satire through Hashim by showing his distinct ability to break from Islam doctrine while reaping the benefits of forcing upon his subordinates.

Hashim’s family finally has enough. The eldest son seeks a criminal to do his bidding, only to succumb to a brutal beating that leaves him in a coma. Subsequently, the eldest daughter carries out the mission and finds a criminal that will steal the hair from Hashim, so as the children would not have to endure Hashim’s beatings for trying to steal his prized possession. The story is ironic on multiple levels at this point. The children are going to hire a criminal to steal a religious relic, because their father is revering a relic, which is forbidden in their religion’s most basic foundation. Tragically, the burglary goes awry, and all of the family members die as a direct result of the obscurity this article of faith brought upon their house. In a final twist, the burglar’s blind wife comes upon the hair, which gives her sight, to which she finally can “see the light”.

Rushdie’s unique brand of writing lends itself to further reading. He is commonly placed among the likes of Mark Twain and Jonathan Swift in his ability to mask poignant themes behind playful vocabulary and sarcastic tone. “The Prophet’s Hair” is a quintessential satire, and Rushdie gives religion a very honest treatment, as only a true writer can.